Things I’m Learning About Compliments
Over the past few months, I’ve made a conscious decision to pay closer attention to the way I receive and respond to compliments.
Here are some things I’ve learned/am learning:
This is not a tennis match. Just because someone offered you a compliment does not mean you need to volley one back. This used to be common practice for me, and my return always felt disingenuous.
When someone offers you kind words, actually receive them. Let them land. Say “thank you” as a full sentence. By honoring the words and feelings of that individual - by believing what they say is true for them and their experience - you are allowing them to live in integrity. And that is the greatest gift you can offer in return.
The more I let these compliments land, the more I notice trends. I’m hearing the same things, but from different people. I hear things like, “That’s a good question” or “You’re so wise.” And as I hear these things again and again from people I love and respect, I’m starting to think they might be true. My confidence is growing and my definition of myself is expanding.
And lastly, because I’m not lazily lobbing compliments back to people anymore, the compliments I do offer now carry more weight. I’m becoming more intentional and thoughtful in the words I offer to others.
This learning is ongoing, so on we go!
How do you respond to compliments? What is your relationship with receiving?
