What Are You Unwilling To Feel?

We all have emotions we’re unwilling to feel.

Personally, I struggle the most with feeling disappointed. I’m quite comfortable with sadness. Even grief is a familiar friend in some ways. But disappointment… that’s a tough one for me…

When a situation doesn’t turn out the way I expect, I’m quick to look for the learning. I do everything I can to convince myself that this is the best outcome, that I’m grateful for the lesson, and that I’ll adjust what I can for next time. (Imagine me dusting my hands off as if to say, “There! Done with that.”)

On the surface, these seem like healthy responses. But underneath there’s an ache I’m avoiding. Sometimes it takes a few days before I recognize that ache for what it is… disappointment. 

As soon as I do - as soon as I name it accurately - I feel it begin to move through me. It’s no longer trapped by my ambivalence. I trust that I will learn and grow from the experience, but first I need to offer myself compassion. I need to feel disappointed. 

The emotions we shove aside or hide away (the things we’re unwilling to feel) are ultimately the things that keep us stuck. As we let our emotions move through us, we create space for something new. We heal, forgive, gain clarity, and grow. 

I believe it's a profound gift to be able to explore the vast emotional landscape we possess as human beings. Even when… or especially when… it’s uncomfortable. 

So, I ask you this today… What are you unwilling to feel?

*Please Note: Feeling your feelings does not mean we need to express them behaviorally. This is an important distinction from @susandavid_phd. The goal is to stop suppressing emotions. Any behavioral responses should be met with discernment and intentionality and aligned with your values.